Score a Touchdown for Your Tailgate

Score a Touchdown for Your Tailgate

2014.10.18

It’s that time of year again.  The leaves are changing.  The wind is crisp and cool.  People are putting different sizes, shapes, and colors of pumpkins on their front porches.  Women across America are posting selfies on social media with their beloved pumpkin-spice lattes.  And pumpkin-spice everythings begin popping up on menus across the nation.  But the most important part about this time of year, the part that trumps all other indicators that Fall has arrived, is what’s happening every Thursday through Sunday nights this time of year.  It’s football time in America.

Now, people are always saying that baseball is America’s favorite pastime.  And perhaps it still is in some ways.  Baseball makes people nostalgic for the good ole days.  It brings back memories of hot dogs and Cracker Jacks, but nothing can ignite that fan fever in someone quite like football can.  Football can waste away entire seasons of someone’s life.  As they immerse themselves in the statistics not only for their favorite team but also for the teams of all the players they have on their Fantasy Football teams, lives are put on hold during football season.  Weddings are planned around football season.  Trips are schedule around home games.  I’m sure somewhere out there, people schedule the births of their children so as not to coincide with their teams’ biggest games.

Football is now America’s sport, at the national level, at the collegiate level, at the high school level, and even at the peewee level.  We start our kids young around here.  Football watching has quickly become an art.  It’s no longer okay to just sit around the house on the couch, eating potato chips and drinking beer.  Now, you have to watch in style.  Especially when it comes to tailgating before games.

Tailgating can’t just consist of some cold cuts and potato salad.  You have to prepare in advance.  You have to get the grill smoking, the beer iced down, the margarita machine frosted, the big screen wired up to watch all pregame action, the tents set up (perhaps with a nice chandelier if you’re an Ole Miss fan), and the chairs laid out.  And if your tailgate sucks, people will just hop on over to the better one next door.

So, all of this leads to the main point: don’t let your tailgate suck.  Bring a little something extra, something a little exotic, something that allows for maximum relaxation paired with ultimate game watching.  Bring a hammock.

Who wants to sit in those uncomfortable canvas folding chairs that squeeze your thighs together, don’t hold your beer right, and leave butt sweat imprints on your lucky game-day jeans?  Instead, bring a hammock.  You will be the envy of the tailgating community.  The hammock is perfect not only for grabbing quick naps between pre-game updates, but also for lounging and swaying in the breeze, which is, I would presume, a highly effective way to lower your blood pressure when your team is having a “rebuilding” year.

It’s really quite simple.  Buy a hammock stand.  Keep it in the back of your truck.  When game day arrives, throw the hammock in the back, and drive on over to your favorite tailgate, where you’ll be the life of the party and the envy of all other fans as you lie in your hammock mentally calculating how you’re kicking butt in your 6 different fantasy leagues.